Ramblings Of My Day

   Today has been one of those days I’d like to remember.  Today was hectic, but it was all about enjoying the kids while I can.  They are only young once. 

   It still breaks my heart to see how big my eldest has grown.  Each milestone puts me in tears.  On the other hand, I’m so proud of the brilliant, big hearted guy he is, and what he’ll do with all that is wonderful about him as he grows.  He’s actually the hardest one for me to watch grow up at the moment.  He’s my buddy.  My partner in crime.  My miracle baby.  I used to say it was him and me against the world.  Don’t get me wrong, I love both of my twinnies just as much.  I guess it’s one of those things you have to be a parent to understand, but you can adore all of your kids equally, and still there are points for each kid that you celebrate, and dread, completely differently than the others.  He’s my first born.  I’m in no hurry for any of them to grow up, but I think because it was just him for the first five years, and as soon as there were more, it kind of feels like he’s left me in the dust.  He keeps hitting milestones and I keep missing the growth in between, because I’m so busy… being Mom.

   

   AAAANNNNYYYYYHOW.  Along with this great kid of mine, is his tremendous heart.  He loves his family.  He loves his Momma.  He’s 10 and still not embarrassed to hold my hand and kiss me goodbye in front of his friends. When he’s tired he’ll still snuggle up, and it doesn’t matter who’s around.  He even requests morning and evening snuggles at home.  One of these advantages… he LOVES for me to come along at his school things.  I’m not a great “in class” mom, but I do well chaperoning field trips.  Too much chaos in one room is sensory overload, and then I get grumpy even though I don’t mean to.  But out and about I get to really enjoy the time. 

   

   I love watching him interact with other kids, and how his classmates treat him.  I even picked on him a little once on a return trip from one tour, some teasing that he didn’t even think twice about, and his friends still all flocked to his defense.  I was so proud of him, and of his friends.  He’s so fortunate to be surrounded by such great kids. 

   Today was one of those field trip days.  We visited a local park that is historical to a local native tribe.  The tribe put together a fascinating educational program.  Not the stuff you see in the old western movies and PBS, but sharing of the legends of that particular piece of land, the stories of their own upbringing and elders, and amazing uses of the native plant life.  There were the tidal pools and the beach, the cedars and the stinging nettles.  There was storytelling, drums and singing.  And I got to share it all with my eldest, by his request even.  After lunch, he was tired from all the excitement and a bunch of running around with the other kids, and walked over to where I sat on the grass, and laid his head on my lap and just rambled on about whatever his thoughts were at that moment.  I’m SO in love with this kid!

   

   He even chose to sit next to me on a mostly empty school bus, instead of by his friends, on the way back! 

   Okay, but it’s not just about him.  I got home, and for once I didn’t have everywhere else in the world to be.  No Cub Scouts, no baseball, no meetings, no.... for the first time in months, I took the night off.  I watched my daughter chase the neighborhood boys, with a streak of dirt from her eye to her hairline at her temple, and another smudge on her chin.  She had picked her own outfit… a long sleeve green and white top with denim short overalls and her hot pink trimmed black sneakers.  I watched as she set up her Barbie “tent” down on the street, with her lawn chair inside, and her hula hoop on top for whatever reason.  When it got in the way of the boys, I watched my eldest and the eldest of the other brothers from across the street shove her things aside, and I watched the youngest of those brothers, who’s usually the one to do the shoving, defend her to the other boys and re-set up her things.  Tonight, after I tucked in the boys, I walked into her room and found her drowning in blankets, sweating oceans, with her face buried between her pillow and her Hello Kitty.  (She calls Hello Kitty her “sister”.  Everywhere she goes, she sees Hello Kitty, and she’s excited to see “my sister!”.)  She’s wearing her pink Hello Kitty PJ’s and for once, not snoring.  Give her a minute and not only will the snores start, but the grinding of the teeth will too.  I’m SO in love with this kid!

   The Littlest Prince came in to my room tonight.  I thought I had settled in for the night.  I’d read them books and kissed them good night, and Daddy had tucked them in.  But he wanted Mommy to tuck him in.  I got grumpy and told him I might go tuck him in, if he’d just let me finish the show I was watching.  He came back three more times before I got snippy and yelled that if he didn’t cut it out, I wouldn’t go see him at all.  He left, somehow still smiling.  I think he knows by now that he can trust I will go give him a kiss good night, even when I’m grumpy, if he asks.  One day I’ll switch it up on him and just not go in.  Naaaaah.  Nope, it’s a reminder to me that I only get one chance to be a Mom to the little him.  One day he’ll be big, and all the tucking in will be over. 

   I thought it would be just the standard routine; walk in, give him a kiss, listen to a “why did the chicken cross the road” joke, kiss him again, and walk back out.  Nope.  He was eagerly waiting for me in the dark.  I came in, and he told me to wait a minute.  He threw off his blanket, shuffled around, and turned on his reading light.  Then he proceeded to start to lay down on the “sweet  spot” where he’d be sleeping for the night, and handed his Tigger blanket to me.  “Here” he instructed.  I went to tuck it under his chin when he sat back up and grabbed the blanket back.  Apparently I had it all wrong and it needed to be in another direction.  After he righted my wrong, he let me try again.  He instructed me to tuck it all around him… so there he was, a blue and orange blanketed little dude burrito.  Then he told me it’s finally okay to turn off the light.  My kid just gave me a lesson in how to “properly” tuck him in.  I’m SO in love with this kid!

   At some point, it’s going to catch up.  The twins will start not wanting to be tucked in.  Their field trips will go by.  Their firsts will start to slow down.  When that starts, each milestone will be that much more bittersweet again, much like my eldest.  Right now most things are still, “I’ll get to do this again” with them.  But soon I’ll be back at “this is the last time I’ll get to do this”.  It’s really only a matter of time.  I’m so thankful that I am able to have days like today, where things slow down for a minute and I can see what’s right in front of me, growing up way too fast.